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(US English)
The word nerd was first used in America in the mid-1960s to describe an intelligent student who was obsessed with technology. Later, the word was used to describe unfashionable, unpopular and un-cool college kids who spent all their time playing with computers. Nerds are also known as geeks, dweebs, dorks, losers and computer nerds.
Clothes & Accessories
Nerd clothing is always out of style; they wear suspenders, thick black glasses with tape on them, pocket protectors and shirts that are usually too formal. They also wear pants that are too short for them, just in case there s a flood on the way to the library. They also like to wear bowling shoes with tartan shorts.
Aspirations
Most nerds want to be computer hackers, Entomology Professors, Bill Gates, or any other profession that requires major brains and is considered un-cool.
Music
Nerds often listen to classical music that they can play along to with their own instruments. Nerds usually play the violin or the tuba, or they listen to music that used to be cool 10 years ago.
Transportation
Nerds prefer public transport or bicycles. If they do have a car, it s usually a large one with enough space in the back for all their science fiction novels and Star Trek video tapes.
Names
Some typical nerd names are: Eugene, Francis, Harvey, Gertrude, Matilda or Francine
Personality
What personality? Nerds are often introverted, quiet and shy. Some like to show off about how smart they are, and how much cooler it is to be smart. But then if they do this, they usually get beat up.
Nerds may laugh uncontrollably for hours at silly, dirty jokes that ordinary people would not even find funny.
Customs & Habitats
Nerds like studying, reading, collecting insects, organising their sock drawers and starting clubs such as the Chess Club or The Organisation For Hamster Lovers . You can usually find nerds hanging around the library or computer lab talking about the latest constellation discovery. They also spend lots of time in gym lockers because other students put them there.
Advice
If you are still confused about what a nerd is, I recommend watching the movie Revenge of the Nerds . It s a funny movie that shows what would happen if nerds took over a college campus. Warning: if you are a Star Trek fan, you may be a nerd. Ask for medical advice.
Famous Nerds
The most famous and richest nerd in the world is the president of Microsoft, Bill Gates.
Nerds & Jocks
In US colleges there are two distinct groups: nerds and jocks. The jocks are the good-looking, sporty ones who look like Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington. One of the great questions of our time is, is it better to be a jock or a nerd? We may have the answer. We re going to use a classic jock, Michael Jordan, to help us find the answer to that one. Michael Jordan makes more than $40 million a year. This means that:
1 While Jordan is sleeping he is earning about $52,000 over a seven hour period.
2 He makes $18,550 when he goes to see a movie.
3 If he decides to boil an egg for five minutes, he ll earn $618.
4 He ll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
5 It would take him just 12 hours to save up enough for a new Porsche.
6 He makes about $33,390 for a round of golf. But Jordan would have to save all his income for 270 years to have the same amount in the bank as Bill Gates, the classic nerd. Nerds win!
Nerd Jokes
Here are some classic nerd jokes:
1. God
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and George Bush were in an airplane that crashed. They all go to heaven, where God talks to Bush first:
Georgie, what do you believe in?
George replies:
Well, I believe that there are evil terrorists out there and we have to kick their asses or we ll die.
God thinks for a second and says, Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit on my left.
God then speaks to Bill Clinton:
Bill, what do you believe in?
Bill Clinton replies:
Well, I believe that a man should be free to express himself as he wishes.
God thinks for a second and says, OK, that sounds good. Come and sit on my right.
God then speaks to Bill Gates:
Mr Gates, what do you believe in?
And Bill Gates replies:
I believe you are sitting in my chair.
2. Clothes
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on a beautiful new bicycle. The first nerd was amazed and asked:
Where did you get such a nice bike?
And the second nerd replied:
Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, take what you want! .
The other nerd nodded approvingly and said:
Good choice - the clothes probably wouldn t have fitted you anyway.
GLOSSARY
cool adj fashionable. Un-cool is not fashionable
suspenders n US something you use to hold your trousers up. They go over your shoulders. Braces in British English
tape n a thin piece of plastic that you use to join two things together
a pocket protector n extra material to protect your pockets. The material is usually leather
pants n clothing you wear to cover your legs. Trousers in British English
a flood n water on the ground because it has rained a lot
bowling shoes n shoes that you use to bowl. Bowling is a sport you throw large balls and try to hit some objects
tartan n a design on material with coloured squares. It is from Scotland
shorts n clothing that is like a very short pair of trousers. People wear them in summer or when they do sport
a computer hacker n a person who illegally enters a comuter system for fun or to steal
brains n intelligence
shy adj timid
to show off phr vb to show how good you are at something
smart adj very intelligent
to get beat up exp if you get beat up , someone hits you many times
a drawer n part of furniture like a box that you put things in. You pull the drawer out of the furniture
to hang around phr vb to stay in one place for a period of time
a constellation n a group of stars in the sky
a gym locker n a small, thin room where you put your clothes when you do gymnastics or sport
a campus n the area where university buildings are
to earn vb to get money for doing something
to make vb to get money for doing something
to kick someone s ass exp offens to attack and destroy someone
I can live with that exp I can accept that
to mind your own business exp to do your own things and not to irritate other people
to nod approvingly exp to move your head up and down because you agree with something
to fit vb if clothes fit you, they are the right size |
